Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Death and Taxes

Two things that are unavoidable. True, people still try to avoid and cheat them, but it all catches up to you in the end.

I had my rabbit put down a few weeks ago. I'd had him for 10 years, and it was a hard decision to make, but as a pet owner, it was inevitable. I put it off for a while, but after a few months, it became clear that I wasn't doing it for him, I was doing it for me, and that's when I knew it was time. My husband prepared the grave, and I took him to the vet (the rabbit, not my husband, just to be clear). It was quick, and painless, for him anyway. Me, I was a mess. My chest hurt, I couldn't breathe, I was crying so hard I couldn't see. Not a good morning.

Later that week, I got some news about my dad.

Quick background, my dad left my Mum while she was out of town for a week last summer. He has told my brothers that it's all her fault, and other heinous lies about how she mistreated him, and they not only believe the lies, but they tell their friends and the rest of the family these lies like they are gospel. He has also stopped talking to me, and generally become a giant ass due in no small part to his continued mistreatment and abuse directed a my Mum. The reasons for all of this are still unknown to myself, and everyone else in the family (my brothers may know, but since I disagree with the way dad's behaving, they won't talk to me).

At a support hearing my Mum was informed by the defense attorney that dad was in the hospital, and may need open heart surgery. Honestly, when she told me, I felt nothing. I was more upset over the loss of my bunny than I was over the news of my dad's health. I guess he had been in there a week already, and no one bothered to call me or my Mum. I'm sure I sound callous, but I can't help it. I've cried so much over him since last June. I've been up until 4 am more nights than I can count, and spent so many endless hours on the Internet trying to find him, and all this time, he could have just picked up the phone and called me.

But he didn't.

So I've done what I have to to protect myself and to protect my daughter. I can't live my life trying to get back into someone else's.

Ah well...C'est la vie...........

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