Saturday, February 8, 2014

Danger Baby Asks The Tough Questions

Danger Baby and I went to the grocery store today. She really likes the little kid-sized carts they have there. Unfortunately for strangers, they think it's cute and talk to her.

The following is an exchange Danger Baby had with an unsuspecting shopper:
Unsuspecting Shopper: *makes small talk about items in DB's cart*
DB: *responds to questions with usual 3 year old chatter*
US: *spouse/SO walks over to her*
DB: Is that your guy?
US: Yes, that's my guy.
DB: *highly incredulous* YOU HAVE A GUY?!
US: *clearly unsure where this conversation is going to go, and looking like she wishes she hadn't started it* Yes, I have a guy.
DB: Why do you have a guy? Why do you have that guy? 
US: *stutters a bit* Well, I'm not sure. I ask myself the same thing sometimes. 
DB: *prepares to launch into a dissertation about why you should or shouldn't have a guy (I've heard it before, it has a surprising amount of conviction considering it comes from a 3 year old)*
Me: Ok, ok, now that you've pried into the private lives of strangers, let's move to the next aisle. 
Danger Baby.

She's not afraid to ask the tough questions. Especially if you are a random stranger in the grocery store.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

The Angry Midget Learns A Hard Lesson About Frozen Pumpkins

The Angry Midget is really very smart, but sometimes she just has to learn things the hard way.

The pumpkin in question

TAM: *looking at the mostly rotten very frozen pumpkin on our front deck* Can I just shove that thing off the porch?
Me: Sure, if you can. It's probably frozen to the porch though.
TAM: Ok!! *gleefully bounces up steps and starts shoving at pumpkin with her foot*
Me: *after watching her struggle with the pumpkin* I told you it was probably frozen to the concrete. 
TAM: *kicks the very frozen pumpkin with her toes* OUCH! STUPID PUMPKIN! *kicks frozen pumpkin, again* OWWW!
Me: Maybe stop kicking the pumpkin if it hurts.
TAM: *huffs and kicks pumpkin again* *mutters* Stupid pumpkin. *stomps into house* 

The Angry Midget.

I love her, even if she isn't always the brightest crayon in the box.

My special Angry Midget Unicorn 

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Gum Is Like Boobies...

The following is a conversation between Danger Baby and her dad:

Robert: *gets pack of gum out of pocket*
Danger Baby: What's that Papa?
R: Nothing *hids piece of gum in hand*
DB: Let me see!
R: *shows her his empty hand*
DB: I love gum! Gum is like boobies, squishy and yummy.

Well. I guess that clears that up.


Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday