Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Things I Learned From Drinking Alabama Slammers

Saturday night, Robert's band played at a local bar. I don't usually get to go because I have two children (Danger Baby--22 months and The Angry Midget--8 years) at home, and sitters are often hard to find, and can be expensive. This past Saturday, I was able to not only secure a sitter, but a designated driver (Robert) as well.

That would turn out to be my downfall.

The following is a list of the things I learned AFTER I drank a still unknown number of Alabama Slammers (the bartender says 6, but I only remember 5--one of us isn't counting correctly):

  1. Ok, this one I technically learned before I had any, but for those who don't know an Alabama Slammer is made with Southern Comfort, amaretto, vodka, sloe gin, and pineapple juice. I've also seen recipes online that use orange juice instead of pineapple, omit the vodka, or also add sweet and sour mix. The bar I was at made them big and the bartenders had heavy hands, so they were strong.
  2. Alabama Slammers are yummy! And they go down sooooo easy.
  3. Drinking two in less than an hour will impair your coordination.
  4. You should eat your ice after you finish your drink. This will help your hydration later. Trust me.
  5. After three, you really don't care what number you're on.
  6. I get handsy when I drink whiskey. This is much better than what happens when my husband drinks whiskey. Apparently it makes some people mean, and they usually end up in jail. Thankfully, Robert figured this out loooong before I met him.
  7. I can take a better video with my phone after four drinks than I can sober, apparently.
  8. I am apparently "HILARIOUS" (a direct quote from a Facebook friend) when I'm drunk. Better happy than sad or angry right?
  9. I drunk Facebook. A lot. Much to my friends' amusement.
  10. It's maybe not the smartest decision to have so many drinks after only two hours of sleep, followed by participating in a huge garage sale, cleaning the house like a maniac in 30 minutes for the sitter, then staying out until 2 am to enjoy said drinks and husband's show. This is an especially bad idea if your spouse has to work very early the next morning and will not be home to help with the kids.
  11. Danger Baby is the best baby EVAR. She let me sleep until 10:15. Thank you, Danger Baby.
  12. After all of the above, falling asleep at the kitchen table, for an hour, can and will happen. I suggest you have your toddler securely contained in her high chair with a PBS Kids show playing and a bowl of cereal to keep her entertained.
  13. One thing you DON'T need is an overly agressive power toothbrush.
  14. Cold pizza is a great breakfast. Until you bite into the first mushroom in the slice. *gag*
  15. For not being much of a drinker, and considering the amount I did have, I handled it pretty well the next day. Even with the lack of sleep the day before, I escaped with out a headache or being "unwell." I think the ice helped.
  16. Following closely on the heels of numbers 14 and 15, a good friend shared a lovely bit of wisdom with me. Schuyler shared a line from the movie "My Favorite Year" --- Alan Swann: Ladies are unwell, Stone. Gentlemen vomit.
  17. Finally, in the interest of science, I feel it is my duty to test the theory of recovery with a full nights' sleep the night before. It's for SCIENCE, people.

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